One who forgives an affront fosters friendship,but one who dwells on disputes will alienate a friend.
Not only will dwelling on disputes alienate a friend, but it can change your perceptions and your brain too. These proverbs were written long before the term "neuroplasticity" was coined (neuroplasticity "refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses due to changes in behavior, environment, neural processes, thinking, and emotions - as well as to changes resulting from bodily injury") but there is an ancient wisdom in these words. What we dwell on or focus on, changes our relationships and communities, our perceptions and our brains. There is even a field of study called "neurotheology" that examines what happens in our brains when we dwell on love, compassion, and forgiveness as we pray and meditate.
St. Paul counseled the church at Philippi to choose wisely about what they would dwell on too.
Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)This isn't about ignoring disputes but, rather, about going through life harbouring and feeding grudges and with a chip on one's shoulder. Jesus invites us to a greater freedom!
What will you dwell on today? Ask God for the grace to dwell on those things that are worthy of praise.
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